Favourite song
by x.Automatic.-.Eyes.x
Summary: All Human. Edward and bella are in love and have a great life together until something happens to bella. This is the story of how edward mourns and reflects on the good old days with his lost love. better than it sounds


Favourite song

Her favourite song was just coming to a close the gentle melody whispering in the air around me. It brought back memories…so many memories. We all took our seats in the large room. As her father slowly walked towards the pulpit, the room was almost completely silent apart from a few people sniffling into their tissues. I couldn't bring myself to cry she wouldn't have wanted it. I have been such a mess since it happened; I haven't done any cleaning, my eyes are red from too many tears and have huge bags under them from my lack of sleep-whenever I close my eyes I see her. I hate going back to the apartment it has too many reminders, but I can't bring myself to change a thing because she decorated it. Her clothes are still on their hangers next to mine just encase she comes back. I try to tell myself I'm being stupid and that she can never come back, but I just can't let myself believe it. He began to speak shakily trying to fight back the tears, but I was hardly listening. His voice faded into the background as I thought of her.

Just 9 months ago we had both been accepted into the best university around for miles and moved into our cosy little cottage not to far away from home. We both had Saturday jobs at the local supermarket and our student loans to pay the rent. We had hardly any spare money and what we did have she spent on endless pots of paint, kitchen appliances and other girly things that she said gave the apartment a 'homely touch'. We spent most of our time at lectures or fixing up our place. We were so happy together and I couldn't wait to get my degree and a great job so I could buy her all the things she deserved.

I loved her so much and I knew she was the one I was supposed to be with for the rest of my life. I can remember the night I proposed. I had worked extra shifts for weeks to get enough money to afford reservations at her favourite restaurant. I was so nervous I nearly left the ring at the apartment and backed out, but I when I saw her come down the stairs in that beautiful dress I knew I couldn't. She was just so perfect, the way the deep blue satin had glided against her pure porcelain skin left me speechless and I knew I would never be complete without her by my side. The food was probably magnificent, but I was so worried she'd say no I didn't pay any attention to it. After we'd finished she looked at me strangely and asked if I was ok. I couldn't take it anymore; I just had to know her answer. I shakily grabbed the satin box out of my blazer pocket and got down on one knee I mustered all my courage and asked her what I had wanted to for months. Nothing could have prepared me for her reaction. She let out an unbelievably high-pitched squeal making everyone in the restaurant turn to look at her with amused expressions. She jumped into my arms nearly knocking me over and shouted 'yes'. I could hardly believe it, twirling her around in the air before setting her down and putting my mothers glistening diamond ring on her wedding finger. The entire restaurant erupted into applause and she turned bright red noticing everyone looking at us. The memory almost brought a smile to my face. Almost.

Our parents had been so happy-I was surprised my Esme hadn't given us a lecture about how we were too young, but no she had just run up to me and given me a hug so tight she nearly killed me. The wedding was small, just our families and a few close friends. Her dress made her look like an angel and the entire day was perfect. Apart from that is my dancing at the after party. She was of course an amazing dancer, but then again she always had been even when we were younger. That was the best day of my life-the day. I always find myself thinking about it when I go back to our home to find it silent and empty. Her perfect smile haunts my dreams. Her musical laugh echoes through my mind. Her deep chocolate eyes follow me wherever I go. I miss her so much.

I can remember when we got the news. We had just got back from our honeymoon and she had been feeling out of sorts for a few days, but wouldn't get herself checked out saying I was just being silly and that nothing was wrong with her. Finally I got her to go to the doctors-I sometimes wish I hadn't. It was a few days later we got the news and it was too late. The cancer was everywhere and they said she was too far gone for treatment. They gave her a matter of weeks.

After that her condition was getting worse by the day and she was slowly slipping away. She was soon bed ridden and I never left her side for more than 5 minutes at a time worried she would slip away. We had visitors nearly everyday and I didn't like it. They hadn't come because they thought she could get through this like I did, they came to say goodbye. I could never do it even now I can't say goodbye I just can't. In the end she was so small and weak she could hardly lift her arm or even speak. The bed seemed to almost swallow her tiny form. She looked fragile like she would snap like a twig if there was a slight breeze. Even breathing was a struggle for her and then one night she went. She was brave, beautiful, intelligent, amazing and gone. I would never see or talk to her again.

Charlie left the stage and more music began. We all stood and they brought her in. I looked at the morbid black coffin and my eyes brimmed with my unshed tears. Renee put a reassuring hand on my shoulder, but it made no difference. She was gone and she was never coming back.

After the ceremony I was just about to leave when Esme stopped me.

"Edward how are you doing son?" She sounded so worried.

"I'll be fine mum," I lied "I just miss her that's all." With that I wondered towards my car and drove home in an almost zombie-like state.

I unlocked the door and stepped inside. I finally just let myself collapse on the settee with my head in my hands. I felt so alone she was my whole world and she has been taken from me. Bella is gone. My body shook with sobs. It was the first time I had even thought her name since she went and it brought me so much pain. It was like when she went she took half of me with her and this was all that was left.

I lifted my head and looked at the envelope on the mantle piece. She had written it when we first got the news but she said I couldn't read it until she was gone. I haven't had the courage to open it yet, it would mean she really was gone. It stared back at me, taunting me with its unknown contents. I made up my mind and abruptly stood up. I had to know. I needed her and this was a little piece of her. I gently picked up the envelope and cautiously peeled it open. I took care not to rip it as I didn't want to destroy anything she'd ever touched. I silently slipped the neatly folded paper out and delicately opened it. Silently I read her untidy scrawl. It said:

_'Remember me on our wedding day and smile. We shall be together again soon, but not just yet, don't rush to see me again I will wait for you. I want you to really live; travel, do everything and anything you want to. Can't wait to here all about it. I love you. Bella x'_

I put the paper back in the envelope and put it in the draw next to our bed. Slowly I took off my black suit and climbed into her side of the bed. Just before I closed my eyes I whispered "I'll make you proud one day. I will always love you." I silently drifted into a deep sleep the fading scent of her strawberry shampoo reassuring me that everything would be ok and her favourite song drifting through my mind.

**Please no flames! i would really love it if some people would review because it's my first story i've puplished online and i want to know what people think x**


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